I'M FREE.
Those two words just fill me with exuberant joy! I recently came through a rough time in my life, and even though the battle is not over, I am filled with such peace and contentment, knowing that I am fulfilling His calling for me. I am walking in the path of Jesus' will for my life. My arms are outstretched, waiting to receive the little blessings in every day life, that I previously missed. I find myself bursting into song at the oddest times! Picture me exploding out of my car to open the gate across our driveway, singing "People Need the Lord" as loudly as I can. :-) We won't mention the strange looks the neighborhood cows were throwing my way. Or can't you see me standing out under the trees humming a conglomeration of songs, not caring if I mix words up or sing the tune a little wrong, while my dog glances at me now and then, with the most patient expression on her face. There is FREEDOM to serve God when my heart is in His hands.
Those two words just fill me with exuberant joy! I recently came through a rough time in my life, and even though the battle is not over, I am filled with such peace and contentment, knowing that I am fulfilling His calling for me. I am walking in the path of Jesus' will for my life. My arms are outstretched, waiting to receive the little blessings in every day life, that I previously missed. I find myself bursting into song at the oddest times! Picture me exploding out of my car to open the gate across our driveway, singing "People Need the Lord" as loudly as I can. :-) We won't mention the strange looks the neighborhood cows were throwing my way. Or can't you see me standing out under the trees humming a conglomeration of songs, not caring if I mix words up or sing the tune a little wrong, while my dog glances at me now and then, with the most patient expression on her face. There is FREEDOM to serve God when my heart is in His hands.
I have also been substituting for one of my friends... teaching is so refreshing! I only have two days of it left, and I'm already feeling sad that I won't be going back to school Monday morning. :-( My brothers would say I'm fickle, but hey, when teaching was all I did for 2 entire years, you kinda have mixed emotions about the whole thing. :-) I decided not to accept the teaching job again this year because it was so hard to make the transition between being "the boss" in the classroom, and coming home and having next to no authority over my little brothers... who are school age, and in my subconscious mind, I figured they needed to obey with out question, too! When in reality, they don't. I needed some time to refocus and find out what my place was in my family. I basically went from being a student to being a teacher, and I never had the chance to figure out my role as a big sister.
That's another area where God has been gently working on me. I find it so hard to put aside my grudges where my little brothers are concerned. I've just now been realizing how IMPORTANT it is to forgive their past wrongs toward me, and their fluctuating "child loyalties"... and love them for who they are. To truly accept them as my brothers... not as "under me" or "pesty kids".... but as CHILDREN who love me and really want to have a relationship with this imperfect big sis. Why not drop everything and play a game with them (even though I don't really enjoy playing games unless it's with adults)? Why not take them to the park and play ball with them for hours on end (even though sometimes I can't find time to wash my toes, let alone go to the park and play in the sun.)? Why not INVEST in their lives, so that when they get older, they can see me as someone they can talk to and trust... someone who tries not to "be their boss" but just wants to be their friend?
Please pray for me! I am still struggling in this area. I got such a late start in a relationship with them. Nearly 21, and I'm just now realizing HOW to be a big sister... but still have no clue where to go with what I realize! (no that sentence didn't make any sense to me either.) :-)
So, that's my life right now. I'm trying to take moments out of my busy day to enjoy the little blessings that God placed in my life... and trying to keep in mind the BIG PICTURE... the picture of eternity and what I can do here to prepare for that eternity with Jesus.
Blessings to all of you!!
~ Susanna
That's another area where God has been gently working on me. I find it so hard to put aside my grudges where my little brothers are concerned. I've just now been realizing how IMPORTANT it is to forgive their past wrongs toward me, and their fluctuating "child loyalties"... and love them for who they are. To truly accept them as my brothers... not as "under me" or "pesty kids".... but as CHILDREN who love me and really want to have a relationship with this imperfect big sis. Why not drop everything and play a game with them (even though I don't really enjoy playing games unless it's with adults)? Why not take them to the park and play ball with them for hours on end (even though sometimes I can't find time to wash my toes, let alone go to the park and play in the sun.)? Why not INVEST in their lives, so that when they get older, they can see me as someone they can talk to and trust... someone who tries not to "be their boss" but just wants to be their friend?
Please pray for me! I am still struggling in this area. I got such a late start in a relationship with them. Nearly 21, and I'm just now realizing HOW to be a big sister... but still have no clue where to go with what I realize! (no that sentence didn't make any sense to me either.) :-)
So, that's my life right now. I'm trying to take moments out of my busy day to enjoy the little blessings that God placed in my life... and trying to keep in mind the BIG PICTURE... the picture of eternity and what I can do here to prepare for that eternity with Jesus. Blessings to all of you!!
~ Susanna
4 comments:
Love to read things like this! :) Thanks for posting and most of all for allowing the Lord to work in your heart and life. I know allowing God to work in us as individuals has more impact on those around us then we may ever realize. When I see God's working in the heart of those in our youth group here (and I consider you part of us) it makes being youth leaders feel worth while. Not that we as youth leaders are doing the changing of the hearts in any way but it motivates me to know that these young people want to serve Christ and maybe we can in some way help, encourage or push them on in some small way! Lords blessing on you! Steven
Dear Suse,
Keep pressing onward, upward and forward! Don't we serve an awesome Lord?! Always there to teach, correct, love and guide. And what you said, "There is FREEDOM to serve God when my heart is in His hands," I'm learning that in His hands is where my heart truely wants to be. A song says, "Lord you have my heart and I will search for yours." Let's seek His heart!
Emily
Thanks so much for the encouraging comment, Steven! It means a lot to know that ya'll consider me part of the youth group there. And just so you know, all four of you youth leaders have been influential to me!
Emily, We do indeed serve an awesome God! Thankyou so much for your encouragement through your emails and just being YOU! How wonderful to have friends to come along beside and lift up the tired hands!
Seeking His heart with you,
Susanna
Post a Comment